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A Phrase that Grinds Me

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A Phrase that Grinds Me

Nicole Emery

Have you ever come across a phrase or quote, and thought "Huh?"  Well, there is one that rubs me the wrong way.  "Fake it until you make it."

It seems to be quite a common thing to say during a pep talk.  Mainstream leaders on self help say it all the time.  It is quoted in books, blogs, articles, etc. everywhere.  So, why would such a phrase bother me?  Seems harmless enough, right?

Before I go into my explanation, let me start by saying if this phrase works for you - GREAT!  Use whatever means you need for some heart-to-heart pep talks.  You have to start somewhere.

What I have found is this phrase doesn't work for me because it collides with my belief system.  Here's why: Everything I've ever done, gone after, or achieved has been done by showing up fully as I am.  Full integrity.  There has been nothing fake about showing up with all my emotions in any given moment.  The whole emotional array - fear, sadness, doubt, elation, joy, heart, wonder, excited, anger, courage, etc. - is present in all areas of my journey.  Each part of the array teaches me I'm only human.

Faking it asks me to not show up as I am.  Or, showing up without integrity.  This is too hard for me.  I make a bad poker player because everything is written on my face.  If good or bad cards are in my hand the whole table will know.  When I give a presentation to a group of strangers about a topic there is nothing fake about what I'm feeling in that moment.  I accept that I can't control what they do or say about my performance.  All I can do is be the best me in any given moment, and know if I can give what the situation is asking for or not.  The magic happens after that.