Photo from Pink Wallpaper
The quote above finally makes sense to me today - "Wherever you are, be all there." by Jim Elliot. The only way to see the solution is to surrender to where you are by being fully present.
It has been no secret of my struggles here in the Netherlands. Mainly because I'm so far out of my comfort zone. A little push outside of a comfort zone never hurt anyone. A full on move completely outside of the comfort zone is in sink or swim territory. All kinds of fears, panic buttons, and struggles get stirred up. Of course this only makes the current situation even worse.
It reminds me of a self defense course I took six years ago. One of the things they taught was the more you struggle or fight the worse it gets in certain situations. Sometimes the best solution is to be fully present in spite of the fear and surrender (basically become a wet noodle), then your escape is easy. All of us actually tried it with each other and the instructors. To my surprise this actually worked.
Trying this out with my struggles here in the Netherlands seems to be working too. It took showing up fully, and surrendering into the struggles, for the solution to surface. This isn't going to be very comfortable, but accepting it is my only option rather than fighting it. Fighting it only makes the struggle bigger. More painful. A trip home gave me that perspective. My feeling is a few weeks from now things will be greatly improved.
A walk with the vulnerable side is my test in faith it will all work out somehow.