There are so many ideas running through my head about a Souljob. Even though I'm not 100% sure what it is yet there is one theme that keeps coming up - clearing everything out. There is a lot of physical stuff in my home that no longer serves me. In a previous post I challenged myself to sorting some of that out. I have to admit I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all. Mainly because there is so much of it to do. How will it ever get done? What will I do with it all? Where do I begin?
My kitchen table is now covered with a sewing machine, lots of fabric squares, thread clippings, scissors, journals, books, etc. What am I getting myself into with this project? All of them really. Ugh! This activity is teaching me a lot about my ability to focus, or lack of. Interestingly when I see things physically piled up I tend to shut down and avoid dealing with it. The feelings of being overwhelmed consume me. It is so tempting to get lost in thoughts that aren't healthy.
- There is so much to do!
- What if I do all this work and none of it pans out?
- Will I do it right?
- Who is going to actually buy this stuff?
- Do I even have the time or energy to do this?
- Everyone will think badly of me for doing this.
- This is going to interfere with this other thing....
- Will I be able to handle shipping all this stuff out?
- What if I get bad rating for my stuff on Etsy?
- What if they think I'm a fake?
- What was I thinking to take this on?
- I forgot about these extra steps too...
- There are too many projects to deal with. Did you see the other closet of stuff?
- ... the list goes on and on....
Yes, this is honestly what goes through my head. The only true statement from all of it is "There is so much to do!" Somehow this will all get worked through. Faith, patience, and a strong desire to see it through to completion is the focus. Cancel to the negative thoughts! It will get done. All of it.
The other element to be dealt with is to stop pressuring myself to finish this in record time. I had it in my head that all this needed to be done in less than three months. I was completely ready to move from my current job, move to a new location, then start fresh. Acceptance of certain life elements stepped in. Landing a new job by the end of March isn't going to happen. There are a few things I still have left to deal with in my current job. A phrase from Spirited, Rebecca Rosen, is coming to mind about when a soul leaves a body - "you might leave your body, but your emotional baggage goes with you." Changing jobs is the same thing. Going from one job to the next doesn't leave the emotional baggage back at the previous job; it goes with you into the new job.
So, basically, I have time. There is plenty of time to complete these projects. The other fun little tidbit to note is I can change what gets completed. In sewing over 1100 totes I might decide some of the fabric might be better off being sold as scrap fabric. Or, the list of painted postcards might shrink down because other choices. I get to decide how the projects reach closure. That makes this all the more enjoyable to go for. This all will come to completion!