So here we are... looking at the options at hand. After all the crazy emotional roller coaster stuff four options seemed to surface:
- Leave both Company X and Company Y
- Stay with Company X, Leave Company Y
- Try my hand at another country (more decisions)
- Pack it up and head back to the USA
Those were pretty much the options as they stood after some reflection time. Hitting my rock bottom allowed me to have a boost of confidence when it came to taking some risks. Truly, there was nothing to lose with what ever was decided on.
How to decide? The use of two things - gut instinct and good friends. My experience in life has taught me feelings have a lot to say. Pay attention! They don't lie. Once you have a grip on what your feeling talk with a good friend (or few) to bounce ideas off of. Those select few I choose to use their counsel know how to cut through my BS. Or, they know when something is spot on with me. Meaning the tone of my voice gives me away - passionate or not.
The first cut was option #4. Way too much regret would hit me to pack it up now to head back to the USA. Not enough time has been given to Europe to make the experience feel complete. It is however, the contingency plan if everything else fails. Option #3 was coming in at the ideal. For some reason every time the thought of moving to a new country came up it felt too soon. It isn't off the option list, but it doesn't feel right for now. Leaving both companies seemed like the best option. No matter how I could see it, or feel it, nothing about either one felt right. So, I took a huge risk - resigned from both companies effective at the end of December.
The Result: Something far more well suited than imagined - the reset button on my life was pushed. Essentially, I'm staying in the Netherlands for a while longer. Company Y is out, Company X stays, and Company Z is introduced. This puts me in a far better position for moving forward than anything else. My contract with Company Y was not a good one. It would have even limited me from moving forward because of certain clauses in it. This situation has only made me smarter.
In spite of the difficult decisions that had to be made I found myself again. Having the confidence in my choice to own my destiny changed everything. A lesson well learned. It also taught me that you never know who will extend a helping hand when you need it most. My prayers were answered.
I'm not giving up on Europe. Being in the Netherlands gives me more adjustment time. Life will let me know when it is time to move on. My suspicion is the Soulmate is around the corner. Big adventures are in store for next year. That I'm sure of!