For all those that have been through the pains of moving far away I now understand even more than ever before that feeling. Distance is hard to deal with.
I would be lying if I said this journey to the Netherlands was easy. In some ways it would have been better to actually have learned some bits and pieces of the language before arriving. But, then learning it first hand has made it far more memorable. The loneliness can get you too. Moving alone brings on a whole new set of difficulties. Then there is the moment any traveler dreads - the bad news from home. This makes distance even harder to deal with than ever before.
Yesterday bad news came about a family member. There isn't a single thing I can do about it either. My hands are tied. I'm torn between wanting to rush home or wait. There are strong pros for both sides. These heart retching moments are the hardest moments to deal with. It still isn't clear as to whether I need to go home or stay. My hope is a clear answer comes soon.
Being helpless and lonely are not the easiest things to deal with. Every day I've asked myself over and over - why did I come here? Then it evolves into- why am I staying here? This is a whole new world I'm dealing with. Finding my way seems to be the adventure. At some point this has to take a turn in a new direction. Adjusting to being away from my normal life will start to get easier.
What I do know is this whole experience has given me a new respect for all those people that have gone before me to do this. How any of you have managed to bring yourself full circle is quite the impressive accomplishment. Thank you for all being such excellent examples of what can be done.