Instead of waiting until the end of my work assignment I created a different ending. The next step wasn't showing up. In the honest truth the next step was in front of me, but I wasn't ready to do it. Finally all my senses were screaming at me to let go. There was no avoiding the physical symptoms of emotional distress. In a moment of clarity a step in faith was taken; I let go. It was scary. Letting go of a financial source without something else lined up first is a big risk. For whatever reason all my instincts, intuitive knowing, signs from the Universe, were all pointing to leaving my job. So I did. Friday, May 11th was my last day.
You would think this would come with sweet rewards of bravely stepping into a new phase of my life. Some people at work called me a hero. Others called me unflattering names. What I call myself at the moment is still in a place of letting go.
Without a doubt I am happy this job journey has come to an end. I've been fighting it since the day I accepted this job offer. It has given me a placeholder on resume, financial means to travel, and allowed me to meet some great people. It took away far more than it was ever worth. There is a lot of healing that has to take place in the next couple of months. My commitment to that path is 100%. It will happen.
But not all endings come with hardships. The moment I let go is truly when the healing magic began. A new beginning was created. About a year ago I wrote about my Souljob. I had no idea at the time the image I found was the beginning of where I was going to end up. The image "Souljobs"came from a company in The Netherlands. Guess what? On May 11th I signed a contract to start working in The Netherlands! My Souljob I'm learning entails a lot of different things, not just one thing. I will always be a lover of mathematics and engineer, but I'm also a lover to intuition and art. The Netherlands is giving it all to me - a new engineering job with a team of people that fit my engineering side well, a land of great Dutch artist (past and present), where a lot of my art supplies come from anyway, an opportunity to let my intuition shine, and most of all a shot at some happiness.
So, Netherlands..... here I come! Ready for a new chapter in the career journey.