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Honest Check-in

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Honest Check-in

Nicole Emery

At certain moments if your life you know an ending is coming.  At first you may try to negotiate with that knowing.  Maybe even deny it.  Taking the stance that if you don't acknowledge it, then it can't possibly be real.  Ever.  Then you are start experience bigger evidence that can't be avoided.  It is in that moment you can no longer negotiate, or deny, that ending is on its way.  The events of yesterday at work was the wake up moment for me.  I can no longer deny my path as an engineer is coming to end.

Truth is I've felt it for quite some time.  Years even.  There was always a desire to go into a more creative path, but fear and doubt have been strong enemies talking me out of it.  Fear comes in and tells me about all the things that I won't have if I choose this path.  Even going as far as informing that I would be moving into "The Unknown."  Then doubt tells me about my abilities to be in a creative path.  Never a pleasant conversation.  Then faith tells me not to worry about The Unknown, or if I'm good enough to do it.  Unfortunately, until yesterday fear and doubt have had the strongest voices. 

What is to follow for a career I'm not exactly sure what it will be.  Time to put more energy toward figuring that out.  Explore possible options and then go for it. After 2012 and 2013 experiences.... it is going to take some time to understand where things are headed.

Sigh..... one day at a time.