Reflections of a bad date night..... something slowly start to make sense after letting it go for a while. For the fun little recap you must understand the following term:
Top Asshole Regents Galaxy Earth Trooper (TARGET for short)
Today the special moment about a bad date suddenly made sense. More like an easy way to explain it to others without losing my marbles. The relief a mystery is solved has washed over me.
This is what happened for me today while thinking about a certain TARGET experience.
At first this TARGET had me stumped as to the lesson he represented. For the last few months it didn't make sense. On the surface there were obvious signs it wasn't going to work out. What wasn't clear is why it even worked out briefly to begin with. That short lived connection finally made sense to me. Ah-ha!!
Lets start from the beginning of the TARGET experience. Girl is dragged to party after a bad experience the night before. Girl meets boy at party. Boy was sweet and requested to meet up again after a lovely kiss. Both walk away feeling happy. They exchange text messages for a while then agree to meet.
The meeting: Boy and Girl had bedroom fun. Boy makes mistake after. Girl calls him on it. Boy feels bad. He apologizes. Girl accepts apology. They agree to be friends.
Three weeks after meeting: Boy admits to meeting Other Girl. Girl wishes him well because they are only friends. Right? Boy comes over to Girl's apartment one night. More bedroom fun. They agree this was the last time for this. They part ways. Holidays happen. Girl starts to send out vibe to let him go permanently.
During holidays: They both text each other. Connection continues. Girl starts to get strange vibe. Something isn't right with Boy.
Three weeks after holiday fun: Group of friends meet up for dinner. Girls is surprised to know Boy will be there. Boy acts like he and Girl rarely speak. Girl follows along, but makes a mental note of action by Boy. Other Girl that Boy was interested in walks into the cafe. Girl realizes Other Girls is the younger version of her. Hmmm....
Three weeks later: Girl and Friend meet up. Friend invites Boy unexpectedly. Girl is happy to see him. Girl and Boy miss last train home that night and spending the night in a hotel together. Boy confesses he met Another Girl back home over the holiday. There is something about Another Girl's story that strikes Girl familiar. Girl admits there was a Different Guy she met up with before the holidays to Boy. Throughout the night it clicks for Girl that she will never see Boy again. Girl has finally achieved detachment, but wonders what this experience is about.
Ah-ha Moment: Boy is attracted to damsels in distress. He finds self worth in making a girl feel better about themselves by playing rescuer. After the rescue he walks away with girls chasing after him. This makes him feel worthy and attractive. Girl was clearly a damsel in distress the night she met Boy. She always believed that a guy had to fix her in order to be worthy, or not broken; whole. If only she could have a certain experience with a guy then she would be whole. After last Boy experience Girl realized she doesn't need to be fixed by anyone. Nor does she need anyone to acknowledge she is whole. She is whole as she is. Just as Boy is whole as he is.
Conclusion: Two people will come together to teach each other what needs to be healed within themselves. For Girl and Boy they both wanted to feel worthy and whole in unhealthy ways. Girl now understands feeling whole comes from within and not from some one's actions or definitions. It also helps to stay connected to Spirit.
Girl has her groove back!