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A River Runs Through It

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A River Runs Through It

Nicole Emery

Photo courtesy of Jenna Dosch Photography

Which side of the river do you want to be on?  Both sides have their perks.  Regardless of which side you choose a choice has to be made.  Standing in the middle of the river can be more dangerous than the end results of either side of the river.  Standing on a fence and trying to maintain balance is another way of looking at it.  Both are painful and very limiting positions to be in.  Yet we do it all the time.  This space of indecision is a belief that we are playing it safe.  Some of us even get comfortable with the concept of indecision.  I know I have.  Still am about certain things.  The only freedom to this dilemma is choice.  Deciding is the most powerful of positions.  Not deciding is handing your personal power over to someone else to do it for you.

A few days ago my fearless work leader brought up an interesting point about change and how we deal with it.  Change is hands down challenging, scary, and even unnerving.  Often times it leads to chaos and a slue of chain reactions that are out of our control.  But, if we pay attention to the chaos and observe it from an objective view we can find great opportunity for growth - personal, professional, financial, etc.  He had me unusually intrigued with his topic and presentation style.  It struck a chord within me regarding some of my choices, or lack of, around my three manifestation items.

Here's why: Commitment.

For years I chose not to pursue these things because I thought I was playing it 'safe' or being 'realistic'.  The actual term used was Risk Averse.  Risk Adverse is the reluctance of accepting something with an uncertain payoff.  Instead opting for something with a more certain, but possibly lower, expected payoff.  My choice about how to face risk with a soulmate, souljob, and Greece was to to not decide.  Trying to minimize any ill effects I may have incurred with the risk - heartache, disappointment, financial mess - for a so called safe/easy path.  I feared the commitment to these projects because everything would change.  I wasn't willing to risk the unknown, nor was I willing to do the enormous amount of work it took.  I even worried about committing to the wrong thing.  The irony is I was actually making a commitment to the wrong choice by not doing anything about it.  Imagine standing in the middle of a gushing river trying to decide what you are going to do about it.  If you don't decide fate will take over and its game over.

Using the analogy of the river I've been able to maintain a 13-20 year balancing act in the middle of that gushing river.  I'm tired.  I don't want to be in this position anymore.  What I am willing to do right now is all the hard work it takes to navigate the river to my destinations.  At some point I will end up on one side of the river and be at peace.  Because I sure as heck am not going to let someone else decide for me!